Sorry I’ve been away for some time. You know how it goes. The busyness of life.
I don’t know about you, but for years I have been a stress freak. Most of the time I knew this. I was aware. But I did little to change it. I have been terrible at managing and acknowledging my stress. I am now, officially, on the Inter Web, ACKNOWLEDGING MY STRESS! Everything from my family, to my need for control, to my screwed up childhood. I’m acknowledging it. And I’m making some big changes. Life changes.
When my husband had a heart attack four years ago, I thought, nothing else matters, lets just get through this. But it was super stressful. Ever since his heart attack, I have felt that I needed to pick up the slack and handle EVERYTHING. So that he doesn’t get stressed out. Don’t get me wrong, he didn’t ask me to do this, I just volunteered on my own. Well, the time has come that I can no longer do that. It was a kind gesture, sure, but not in any way practical. In the end I only stressed myself out to the max. And I mean, to the max.
In fact, I can’t remember ever being the person that relaxed. I’ve always been uptight. Always moving on to the next thing. The next item on my list. The next chore. “CHECK,” that’s done, what’s next? In being this way, I have consistently been able to NEVER enjoy the moment. But I have sure managed to stress about the next. Lately I’ve been asking myself, what about the now? In fact, the only time that there is, is the now. There is no future, there is no past. Only the now. I don’t know about you, but I’ve got a lot of “now” to catch up on.
How’s it going in your “now”? I’ll talk to you soon.
Image courtesy of Bing.