Humor · Life Style

Five Dollar Toast


On a recent Sunday morning, we headed downtown for breakfast. We had a specific place in mind. A popular hotel, where mostly hipsters and out-of-towners hung out. There was only one problem.  We got up too late. We knew better, but we were determined to try anyway. I don’t know how it works were you live, but in this town, if you get up for breakfast on a Sunday and you don’t “beat the crowd” downtown, you may have to eat $5 Toast.

What do I mean by this phrase…$5 Toast? Is it some special dish that one goes on a pilgrimage to find? Does it require a journey to the East? Or a journey to the West?  Will I need a map? Or a Sherpa? Are there GPS Coordinates?

Actually, $5 Toast is not something that you need to go far to find. In fact, the easiest way to find it is to simply walk across the street from your original destination, if you are in fact, downtown on a Sunday, as we were. To a different restaurant that serves very different food. A modern bistro, if you will. In fact it is so modern that I simply cannot remember the name. But I do remember the shine. Oh, how shiny it was inside. Stainless steel shiny. With tables and stools, high ceilings and the like.  And it was huge!

I should back up a bit. After turning ourselves away from the planned eatery, we decided to explore. We would find another place to eat.  Sadly, we only made as far as across the street. I was hungry….weak…and a tad cranky. Hubby was a tad impatient. The morning was not going as planned! As we cruised across the street into the modern bistro, we looked around and thought it was all good. Not too many people, still a tad early, we’ll be ok. And it was okay. Until we had wait to be seated. (huh? The place is practically empty!)

After we were finally seated by the hostess I noticed that there were a few others in this restaurant. Obviously these people were like us – they tried to get into that joint across the street but got up too late. The family sitting in the table next to us looked like they were really trying to make this place work. (Wasn’t it a tad early for a Mojito?) They sat in silence as they ate. Strange, there were at least two teenagers in that family and they weren’t looking at their phones. I think they were just trying to suffer through the meal. They, like us, were probably starving. Anyone else worth mentioning was far away from us. Did I mention that this place was huge?

As we scanned the menus, I looked across the table at my husband. He looked across the table at me. He groaned, I grimaced. Soon the hostess was back to take our order.  I didn’t see anything that struck my fancy. Too early for the fish tacos, I thought. There really wasn’t much that my heart patient husband could eat either. Plus, the prices were out of this world! Tap, tap, tap went the waitress’ pen on her order pad.  I felt annoyed. I wanted to throw down the menu, stand up with a snort and walk out. I didn’t want to order any this crap. But I was hungry, dang it! I needed to eat.

I scanned the menu one last time. That’s when I saw it.  There it was! The one thing that seemed like it would work. Nothing else looked good, so I guess I will settle for that. And that would be….toast. But I couldn’t believe it. It cost $5! But It did come with the chef’s choice of homemade jelly. So there’s that. Hubby did order the fish tacos. And a salad. And some tap water that came in a snazzy milk bottle.

I suppose the moral of this story could be that if you don’t get up in time on a Sunday morning to beat the crowd at a fancy hotel restaurant, you should probably just stay at home. You could save yourself $38. And you could make your own toast. Any kind that you please. And it would be free. Or, to make life simple,  you could just stay home and have pancakes.

Have you ever had to eat $5 Toast? Tell me about it with a comment. I’ll talk to you soon.



6 thoughts on “Five Dollar Toast

  1. Never had $5 toast but I am familiar with waiting for a table and if I am denied my morning coffee for too long, things get ugly fast! My hubby and I live in a town that is home to 15 different churches. We, ourselves, are non-church goers but if we go out to our favorite local diner for Sunday brunch, we have learned to time it so that we get there before the morning services let out. Otherwise we would probably find ourselves in some shiny restaurant eating $5 toast!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. We’ve definitely had to fork out for $5 toast before, although it wasn’t toast but I get the point you were making.
    This was a nice piece, I thought the Sherpas line was funny. I hope you get more comments.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. We just ate breakfast this morning at Baldini’s casino in Reno, NV. We go there all the time. The breakfast is $4 for eggs, toast, bacon and hash browns. Best price I have ever found here in this town. One day we ate at the brown bear restaurant. Breakfast for two was $38 and I just had biscuits and gravy and coffee. I will never go back there again.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. This is my first time hearing about a place that serves $5 toast. Fascinating! I don’t eat much bread, so they wouldn’t have gotten my $5. But if you like toast, and the idea of eating breakfast out on a Sunday morning suits you, (and you’re not plant-based), go for it. IT certainly makes a dandy post.

    Look at that. I rhymed toast with post!


  5. We were in Seattle and we’re having dinner up in the Space Needle. The minimum order was $25 per person. My daughter and I were vegetarians and the only thing on the menu we could eat was a large Portabella mushroom covered in goat’s cheese. We HATED goat’s cheese so we tried to scrape it off but the taste was still too prevelant and we ended up leaving most of it. The upside was the view and the vast variety of breads that a bread waiter brought to the table and sliced up whatever kinds you wanted. I love bread!


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